Dave Grohl once said, “I don’t have guilty pleasures. If it brings me pleasure, I don’t feel guilty about it.” One assumes he said this BEFORE it was revealed that he had a child out of wedlock, but I take his point regarding music and pop culture.

Still, it’s one thing to crank Dua Lipa’s “Dance the Night” when you’re alone in your car; it’s quite another to do the same thing when your workmates are in the car. And, no, I’m not talking about me personally. Shut up!

There are the things we like, and then there’s the way we feel about the things we like. And I’ve pretty much always had a TV or streaming show that I would categorize as, “The dumbest thing I watch that I still enjoy.” That honor used to go to Cobra Kai.

The Karate Kid spinoff took place in a strange part of California where karate is weirdly popular and where fights, including both adults and children, break out frequently without the cops having to get involved. You can beat the living shit out of someone in “The Valley” who disrespects you without fear of jail time or legal fees. Cobra Kai was a deeply stupid show. And I watched every second of it.

But there’s a new big, dumb sheriff in town that’s stomping its way into my heart. Are the characters whiney and obnoxious? Yes. Do they make terrible decisions? Also, yes. And yet… I can’t stop watching.

Let’s get into it!

What is there to say about Monarch: Legacy of Monsters? It’s LITERALLY the kind of show where a main character is explicitly warned not to press a button and then presses the button. The kind of show where an employee sabotages a company her first day on the job, and her boss’s response is to fire her but then immediately ask to re-hire her. And it’s the kind of show that calls itself “Legacy of Monsters” and - at least during season 1 - features almost no monsters.

So, why do I still watch?

Well, Monarch has a few things going for it. Its biggest strength is Kurt Russell and Wyatt Russell playing an older and younger version of the same character - Lee Shaw. If you’ve seen Thunderbolts - and you should because it’s the best Marvel movie of the last few years - you know Wyatt Russell displayed great comedic chops playing Kirkland Brand Captain America. He’s one-third of the trio, along with Mari Yamamoto and Anders Holm, that anchors the 1950s half of the show, which is far and away the better half of the show.

The close-to-present-day (2015) half of the show features Kurt Russell as older Lee Shaw, along with Anna Sawai (who was awesome in Shogun), Ren Watabe, Joe Tippet, Takehiro Hira, and Kiersey Clemons as the most annoying character on television not found in a Jardiance commercial. Maybe it’s a Gen X thing, but she is all the worst Gen Z stereotypes rolled into one character.

As I mentioned, the half of the show set in the 1950s is a delight. So much so that I wish it were the whole show. It covers the foundation of Monarch and the first discoveries of the kaiju (giant monsters). And when the monsters — Gozilla in particular — show up, the show is tons of fun. Several thousand tons of fun. (By the way, for the best portrayal of Godzilla I’ve ever seen, watch the movie “Gozilla Minus One.”)

Adding to the fun, King Kong shows up in Season 2. Kong has more of a personality than Godzilla and the other monsters, so he’s always a welcome addition. If you’re wondering if Monarch ties into “Godzilla: King of Monsters” and “Godzilla x Kong”, it does, but those films are not required viewing to watch Monarch, which stands on its own.

I’ve often said when it comes to movies and TV shows, not everything has to be an $80 steak. Sometimes a $5 cheeseburger does just fine. Monarch is the $5 cheeseburger of streaming shows. You may not remember much about it afterwards, but it hits the spot in the moment.

Speaking of dumb fun, Season 2 of Ted premiered on Peacock last week. But instead of being dumb-dumb, Ted is more smart-dumb. What do I mean by that? Check out the clip below from Season 1.

Ted is a show that makes jokes about the Milgram Experiment. But it’s also a show featuring a talking teddy bear that loves to get high. What I love about Ted is that it has no other agenda other than to make you laugh out loud. There’s some social commentary here and there, especially from the character of Blaire, but by and large all Ted is aiming for is to make you snort and spit out your beer.

Ted is set in the 1990s when John Bennett (whose wish brings Ted to life) is still in high school. Max Burkholder is such a gifted comedic actor that he’s actually an upgrade from Mark Wahlberg, not a downgrade. The series is as funny as the first Ted movie and significantly more funny than the second (although Ted 2’s Jurassic Park joke was outstanding).

My only minor gripe with the show is the character of Matty. Scott Grimes is great in The Orville and as the voice of Steve on American Dad, but here he gets saddled with playing a monster. I get that the show needs a conservative Boston dad as a foil and as a character who can learn lessons, but he is a LOT to take. Matty is pissed off to the point of exploding in virtually every episode and often comes off as abusive more than funny. He’s Archie Bunker dialed up to 11 at all times. They soften the character a bit in Season 2, but only a bit. I think the show would be stronger if they pulled Matty back a little, but Ted is still a delight even with him.

The highlight of Season 2 is the Dungeons & Dragons episode. Yes, the episode goes where South Park has gone before with its World of Warcraft episode, but it still works. They put real effort into making the creatures look good and even brought in famed Dungeon Master Brennan Lee Mulligan to add to the episode’s cred.

I should also note that Ted - as strange as it may sound - features some of the best special effects on television. You truly buy that there is a stuffed talking bear walking around. He’s seamlessly integrated into the show. Each episode costs between $8-$10 million to make, and it shows because he’s completely believable.

I don’t think there will be a Season 3 of Ted because Season 2 ends on a joke that takes us straight into the first movie. There is, however, a Ted sequel coming in animated form starring Wahlberg and Amanda Seyfried. So if you want more Ted, and I do, it’s coming.

PACIFIC AVENUE

Pacific Avenue is an indie rock band from Australia that’s been around since 2017. They came to my attention last week when Spotify’s algorithm recommended their latest song “Tell Me It Ain’t Over.” What hooked me immediately is the churning rhythm section. And if it sounds familiar to you, I’m going to show you why. First, take a listen to “Tell Me It Ain’t Over.”

If you ever watched HBO’s “Entourage,” you’re going to know why that song sounds familiar. Because it bears a striking resemblance to the show’s theme song, “Superhero,” by Jane’s Addiction. Personally, I don’t have a problem with songs sounding familiar. As Tom Petty once said, “There are only so many chords.”

YUNGBLUD/THE SMASHING PUMPKINGS

Continuing with our something new/something old theme, there’s a new version of YUNGBLUD’s hit song “Zombie” featuring The Smashing Pumpkins. It’s an interesting take on the tune that adds the Pumpkins’ unique guitar sound along with Billy Corgan’s vocals. I’ll drop both videos below so you can compare and contrast. YUNGBLUD is an artist who’s been on my radar for 5 or 6 years now, but I believe “Zombie” is his first big hit in the States. His whole catalog is pretty diverse as he embraces a lot of different styles and is absolutely worth checking out if you dig “Zombie.”

I was not expecting much from AMC’s “Interview with the Vampire” when it first premiered. It’s tough material to translate onto the screen. Most people know Vampire from the Brad Pitt/Tom Cruise movie. And it’s a fun film. But it doesn’t get the characters of Louis and Lestat quite right. It’s more like Pitt and Cruise cosplaying.

The AMC series, however, absolutely nails both characters, Lestat in particular. I had no idea who Sam Reid was before “Interview,” but he just IS Lestat. You’re going to forget all about Tom Cruise when you see him. Lestat is a tricky character because he’s fairly irredeemably awful. Petty, bratty, jealous, violent, evil… take your pick. And yet there’s a part of you that has to like him a little for the story to work. Lestat has to be charming and seductive as well as awful. That’s a delicate balance, and Sam Reid nails it. Reid is also very funny in the role, an aspect of the character Cruise struggled with.

Louis is the less showy but equally critical role. And, again, the casting is perfect with Jacob Anderson as Louis. Sometimes I think British actors play Americans better than Americans do. You really have to watch an interview with Anderson to appreciate just how much he changes his voice and mannerisms to become Louis.

The third main character of the books is Daniel Molloy, and I know I’m beginning to sound like a broken record here, but the casting of Eric Bogosian is perfect. His dry wit and sensibilities anchor the show. Christian Slater was fine playing Molloy in the movie, but he didn’t have the gravitas that Bogosian does. Molloy is the bravest character in Interview because he’s going toe to toe with creatures that could kill him in the blink of an eye, and he doesn’t flinch.

The one aspect of “Interview” that the movie did better than the show is the character of Claudia. Claudia was Kirsten Dunst’s breakout role. And it’s another character that’s really difficult to get right because she’s a child vampire. And as time marches on, she ages, but her body doesn’t. In the novel, Claudia is just 5. She is aged up to 11 in the movie, which is understandable. It’s far too challenging, adult, and inappropriate a part to be played by a 5- or 6-year-old. In the series, however, they age her up to 14 and have her played by a 20-year-old. Two of them, actually, as a new actor takes over the role in Season 2. Again, it’s understandable why the series did this. A show that takes place over two seasons is shot over a period of four years, and that’s just not going to work for a character who’s supposed to be trapped in time. But a grown woman playing the character of Claudia doesn’t work all that well. Baily Bass (Season 1) does a better job than Delainey Hayles (Season 2), but neither of them really nails the epic tragedy that is Claudia.

“The Vampire Lestat” - Season 3 of the series - premieres in June. You can check out the trailer below, which doesn’t really spoil anything if you’ve not seen “Interview” yet. Sam Reid yelling, “VERY specific detail to pluck out of thin air!” cracks me up every time.

I don’t know how many of my readers actually make it this far down into the newsletter, but if you do, I have some news. In the coming weeks, I’m probably going to be discontinuing THREE NEW THINGS. But fear not! THREE NEW THINGS will still exist. I’m just going to be folding it into a new newsletter called The X-Ray. When I started THREE NEW THINGS, the idea was to cover pop culture for a Gen X audience that still liked… well, new things. That mission got a little lost… at least the Gen X part of it. And I want to get back to that. So I’m going to be launching The X-Ray, which will cover movies, streaming, music, and games, but also science/tech, healthy aging, and retirement finance. It will be a newsletter for curious Gen Xers who refuse to age into cultural irrelevance. I may even do a podcast and YouTube channel to accompany it. I’m still in the exploration stages of those things, so stay tuned.