It’s the early 2000s all over again!

Scrubs is back! Low-rise jeans are back! War in the Middle East is back! Okay, so some things from the early aughts we could do without, but neocons are going to be neocons.

In this issue of THREE NEW THINGS, I’ll cover the Scrubs revival, preview Season 4 of one of the best animated shows on television - Invincible - along with HBO Max’s Lanterns, introduce you to the Viagra Boys, and let you know whether or not the new Big Arch Burger from McDonald’s is worth your time and its not insignificant 1057 calories.

Let’s get into it!

Scrubs is back, airing Wednesdays on ABC and the next day on Hulu, and it’s something of a good news/bad news situation. The good news is that this is exactly the same Scrubs you remember. The bad news is that Scrubs is EXACTLY THE SAME SHOW YOU REMEMBER.

When Scrubs premiered in 2001, it felt cutting edge. It ditched the laugh track when most sitcoms of the day were still using one, and featured whimsical flashbacks before Family Guy completely wore out the concept. (The FIRST sitcom to do away with canned laughter was The Larry Sanders Show in 1992, a show that was VERY ahead of its time.)

Because the revival of Scrubs does not tinker at all with its classic formula, what used to feel fresh and new, now feels more like getting together with a friend you’ve not seen in a couple of decades. The nostalgia rush hits hard… but he’s still telling the same old stories the same old way.

This is both good and bad as I alluded to in the opening paragraph. Watching Scrubs in 2026 now feels like traveling back in time to a different era of sitcoms. But that’s also its strength. The world may have changed, but the Scrubs you remember fondly is still the Scrubs you remember fondly.

The heart of the show— as it’s always been— is the bromance between J.D. (Zach Braff) and Turk (Donald Faison). The two actors (who are best friends in real life as well as on the show) are so linked that they’re now doing T-Mobile commercials together. What’s interesting about their relationship in Scrubs is that it walks right up to the line of being romantic, but never crosses that line. That feels less radical today than it did back in 2001, when it was a commentary on masculinity and male friendships, but the two are still the beating heart of the show.

Sarah Chalke is back as Elliot (now J.D.’s ex-wife), as is John C. McGinley (briefly) as the still sour Percival “Perry” Ulysses Cox. There is a new group of Gen Z interns who will hopefully become more distinct characters in time, and SNL alum Vanessa Bayer as an HR manager who seems like she parachuted in from a weirder show. I mean that as a compliment, as she’s a bizarre delight.

Scrubs circa 2026 is comfort food. But that’s what Bill Lawrence (Ted Lasso, Shrinking, Rooster— which I’ll cover in an upcoming issue) has been dishing out for decades. And in an era of anti-hero dramas and dark, cynical comedies, that may be just what the doctor ordered.

Viagra Boys is kind of hard to describe. Officially, this Swedish band is categorized as “post-punk” or “art-punk.” Their sound has a bit of a garage band edge to it with heavy bass lines, sloppy-on-purpose vocals, and grooves that are closer to dance music than traditional punk. I just call it FUN. Their lyrics are provocative and a little weird. “They watch TV about a man named Chandler Bing who died in a freak hot tubbing accident” goes one lyric in “Man Made of Meat.” The song is a darkly satirical meditation on human weakness and the absurdity of modern life. Give it a listen.

Another song - “Therapy II” - has a more traditional punk driving beat and mocks modern self-help culture and performative therapy. It’s written from the point of view of an unreliable narrator who may have more emotional awareness but who clearly hasn’t improved or benefited from therapy.

Viagra Boys are a little less melodic and much more sardonic than the music I usually post here in Three New Things, but they absolutely are worth your time and attention. As I point out frequently in this newsletter, rock isn’t dead— it’s just moved from Top 40 radio to streaming services like Apple Music and Spotify.

And speaking of Spotify, check out the THREE NEW THINGS 2026 PLAYLIST, now featuring 84 songs and 4 ½ hours’ worth of music. That’s enough to get you through a full half day of work!

INVINCIBLE

In its first 45 minutes, Invincible feels like it’s a light show, a fun show, a nostalgic show that puts you in mind a bit of old Saturday morning cartoons like Super Friends. Then it pulls the rug out from under you in the final 10 minutes in spectacular fashion. If you’ve never seen Invincible, I won’t spoil how. Invincible doesn’t have the beauty or artistic quality of shows like Arcane or Blue Eye Samurai, but that’s part of why it works. Its look is throwback, but its sensibilities are distinctly modern. And it does things you could NEVER get away with in live-action superhero properties. Season 4 starts on Prime Video on March 18, so if you’ve never seen it, start binging now. You’re in for a treat.

LANTERNS

I don’t know quite what to make of Lanterns. It’s part of the new James Gunn DC Universe, which includes Creature Commandos, Superman, Supergirl, and Peacemaker. But it looks to have its own distinct tone and feel. More like… No Country for Old Lanterns. Or “Brown Lanterns” as people have been calling it online because they don’t like suits hanging in the closet. Whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing, it’s too early to say, but Lanterns does look to be giving us something a little different. Kind of True Detective meets DC Comics. The trailer features Hal Jordan and John Stewart (the two MAIN Green Lanterns in comic book lore), but I expect Guy Gardner (the dick Green Lantern last seen in Superman) will make an appearance as well. I also expect John Stewart’s Green Lantern to have the more traditional comic book-accurate suit that neither Hal nor Guy have.

The Big Arch Burger, which was made for international McDonald’s markets like Europe and Canada (the UK and Ireland in particular), made its debut in the U.S. this past Tuesday. I went out and picked one up for lunch today (that’s the ACTUAL burger I ate in the picture below this article) so I could let you, dear reader, know if it’s worthy of your time and your taste buds.

The short answer is… NO. But here’s the longer answer.

The Big Arch comes with two quarter-pound patties, three slices of white cheddar cheese, slivered onions, crispy onions, lettuce, a sesame/poppy seed bun, and Big Arch Sauce, which has something of a mustard/pickle/ketchup flavor. The more tomato-forward flavor of the sauce is what differentiates it from your standard Big Mac sauce.

If that sounds like a LOT of burger, it is. Too much in my opinion. I tend to think the best foods are simple. NOT flavorless, but simple. For example, the best pasta sauce I’ve ever had is made only from tomatoes, butter, onion, and garlic… nothing else. It’s simple, but its flavor is bright and intense.

The Big Arch feels like it’s going for quantity over quality. If you’re picking up McDonald’s on a road trip— which is 90% of the time I get McDonald’s— stay far away from this burger as it falls apart upon eating. There are just too many ingredients for it to hold together properly, and the whole thing becomes a mess just a few bites in.

The sauce dominates the flavor of the burger so much that you don’t really taste the white cheddar, which is a shame. And at the end of the day, there’s nothing this burger does that your standard Quarter Pounder doesn’t do better. But, hey, food (like everything in this newsletter) is highly subjective, and your mileage may vary.

But, hey, don’t take my word for it. Enjoy this now widely ridiculed video of McDonald’s own CEO “enjoying” a “bite” of the Big Arch for himself. In yet another instance of The Simpsons did it first, the video has vibes of Krusty the Clown spitting out his own product the moment the cameras stop rolling.

So, Sean, you’re saying, I really enjoy THREE NEW THINGS, but most issues it seems like you’re covering more than three. To which I say… mind your business. Think of it like the Big 10 or the Big 12 athletic conferences. Sure, there’s a 10 and a 12 in the names, but who knows how many teams are actually in these conferences? Plus, ROUGHLY THREE NEW THINGS just doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. As a general rule, it’s 3 MAIN things plus 1-3 bonus things each week. Are we sorted? Cool. I’ll see you next Thursday.