Last week’s edition of THREE NEW THINGS was a little on the long side. What can I say? There was a lot to cover! This week, I’m keeping things light and tight because it’s Thanksgiving and I have family to be with and stuffing to eat.

I’m also going to play with the format this week a bit. Instead of three things I recommend, I’m going to go with three things I very much do NOT recommend. Three TURKEYS, if you will. So, gobble, gobble, let’s get into it!

There are many shows my wife and I are equally excited about watching together. And then there are some that she’s more excited about than me, and vice versa. Sometimes, it’s more about spending time together than both of us being equally invested in a program. Nobody Wants This is one of those shows.

Season 1 was cute, occasionally funny, and a pleasant enough diversion. Not everything has to be Succession or Severance. Steak is great, but sometimes you just want a McDonald’s cheeseburger.

Season 2 of Nobody Wants This, however, was a warmed-over cheeseburger that sat under the heat lamp too long. The trouble is that the two lead characters, played charmingly by Adam Brody and Kristen Bell, showed ZERO growth from Season 1. They went through the exact same conflict - he’s a rabbi and wants her to convert to Judaism, she’s not religious at all and doesn’t want to - and ended up in EXACTLY the same place. So, there was essentially no point to Season 2 at all.

The MUCH more interesting couple on the show (although they’re not exactly a couple) is Morgan and Sasha, played by Justine Lupe and Timothy Simons. They couldn’t be more different from one another and yet have an undeniable ease and chemistry with each other, much to the chagrin of Sasha’s wife. Give me a show about those two!

There was ONE laugh-out-loud line from the show that I’ll spoil here so you don’t have to watch Season 2.

ESTHER: She’s fucking nuts if she thinks she’s in charge of me having a whole-ass baby. Is this The Handmaid’s Tale? I never saw past Season 1, but I don’t think it gets any better for the gals.

First things first, I don’t hate country music. It’s not my genre of choice, but I don’t out-and-out dislike any genre of music. (Except, perhaps, death metal, where the lead singer screams into the mic for the whole song… I just can’t do that.) I enjoy Johnny Cash, Hank Williams, Radney Foster (an old-school country singer from the 90s), John & Jacob, Midland, and most recently, Dasha. So, I don’t hate this song because it’s country. I hate it because it’s soulless AI.

The song is “Walk My Walk” by Breaking Rust… although it’s really by AI. And it shows. AI can be very useful for research, organization, or as a personal assistant. But creatively, it just sucks. AI aggregates and regurgitates, so its creative output has a blandness to it that leaves me empty. Empty lyrics and empty notes that sound vaguely like everything you’ve ever heard before. This isn’t the future of music, despite “Walk My Walk” rocketing to the top of the digital country music charts. It’s just a phase that we’re all going to move past as we realize that real human ingenuity and creativity can’t be replaced by our computer overlords. At least not yet. And maybe not ever.

I don’t mean to pick on Candy Crush, because there are other offenders, but I’m going to. Candy Crush is among the most money-hungry games on the market. It lures in a certain type of gamer (those who would be right at home in a casino) with its bright colors and cartoon characters. But once you get past the first dozen or so levels, the entire game comes down to luck, not skill. Your moves become more limited, and whatever goal you’re trying to achieve is at the mercy of random drops. Then it’s, “Oh! So close! If only you had this relatively inexpensive power-up, you could finish the level!”

Setting impossible goals that can only be achieved through purchases isn’t gaming; it’s buying access. There’s no fun in that because there’s no sense of accomplishment. You didn’t achieve anything; you simply purchased your win, which is the antithesis of what gaming is all about - fun through achievement and a compelling narrative. Honest Trailer says it best when it calls Candy Crush, “The Kardashians of video games.”

Thanksgiving is great! But there are two blights on Thanksgiving dinner that I will NOT abide by - cranberry sauce and yams. I don’t care what form they come in, or how many marshmallows you stack on top, they’re the insane MAGA relative of Thanksgiving. Nobody really wants them there, but you have to invite them.

I hope you enjoyed this turkey-filled, quick hit edition of THREE NEW THINGS. I’ll be back next week when we return to our regular format - things that DON’T suck. Until then, Happy Thanksgiving, everbody!